Rule of Law Spotted in ER on Life Support!!!

Doctor: 'in Critical Condition'

The Rule of Law, a centuries-old institution believed by some experts to be necessary for the functioning of democracy, was reportedly in critical condition at a Washington, DC hospital today, having been found bleeding and semi-conscious in a back alley behind the White House.

Washington City Police said they had begun investigating the case but then stopped after a high official of the Justice Department told them, “We’ll handle this.”

The patient’s case status was then downgraded from “suspicious” to “accidental.”

An FBI spokesman said Director Kash Patel had personally visited the patient, who is in the emergency room at MedStar Washington Hospital Center, the largest and busiest hospital in the District of Columbia, and had withdrawn security protection as “an unnecessary expense.”

“The Rule of Law looked fine to me,” said Patel. “For an institution as useless and obsolete as the Rule of Law is, it’s doing very well. I wouldn’t be surprised if it went out dancing tonight.”

An ER doctor who requested anonymity, said in his opinion, the Rule of Law was “battered almost beyond recognition and near death.”

A White House spokesperson said that “the President and First Lady are praying for the Rule of Law to recover.”