Pressure Mounts for Trump to Quit Race

Many Feel He's Too Old at 78

Here we go again!

Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump is coming under increasing pressure to abandon his election campaign from GOP officials who say he is too old to withstand the the stresses of the nation’s highest office.

When 81-year-old President Joe Biden made his semi-shocking decision Sunday to quit as the Democratic nominee, people suddenly realized that Trump is 78 years old and likely to grow even older should he win a four-year term in November.

Math experts estimate that if Trump wins in November, he would be at least 81 in the last year of his term. They say 81 is close to 82. To make his age situation even more delicate, Trump is obese overweight and was recently shot.

The Republican officials who believe Trump should quit all asked to remain anonymous out of fear that Trump would hit them.

“He’s getting wackier all the time,” said one official, a bearded U.S. senator from Ohio with no possible ulterior motives. “As soon as the cameras go off, he starts babbling about sharks and Kamala Harris being the worst vice president in U.S. history. We all know that was Henry A. Wallace, who served from 1941 to 1945 under President Franklin D. Roosevelt.”

“He’s going to have to debate Harris,” said another no-name. “She’s half his age.”

{Lewis Grossberger’s Raw Truth Bulletin Fact Check: Harris is not half his age. She is 59; Trump is not 118.}

Meanwhile, Trump, campaigning in Guam with his grandchildren (but only the cute ones) said the speculation about his quitting the race was “Fake lies from the lying Democrats. I am in perfect shape for a man my age and so far untouched by sharks, thanks to the Secret Service. No, don’t boo. They’re incredible people. Fantastic.”

That may be so, but we’re going to keep running these he’s-too-old stories until Trump quits.

Hey, it worked once. Media power!