Will Co-President Musk Close the Govt.?

Elon Flexes His Muscle!

Co-President-unelect Musk addressing the nation (AI astral projection)

Co-President Musk issued his first executive order yesterday, commanding Congress to shut down the US government he despises.

Republicans in Congress rushed to obey, voting down a bipartisan bill that would have kept the affected offices of government running.

Though never elected to public office, Musk has become the second most powerful person in America by virtue of his close personal relationship to Donald Trump, whose second term as president has not even begun.

The relationship is believed by insiders to still be platonic.

“We’ve been worried about a Hitler seizing power here in America,” said a key Democrat who begged abjectly for anonymity while crawling on his belly toward an exit. “But we never expected Goring.”

Musk texted Republican senators and members of the House of Representatives yesterday, writing, “Shut ‘er down, guys, or else. Love, Elon.” Trump later “twitched” on Trust Me, his social media platform, “Do what Elon said.”

Political scientists say the sequence of events is unusual. “I have searched through the entire Constitution,”said Yehuda G. Gupte, professor of advanced governmental theorizing at Syracuse University. “And I’ve found no passage authorizing an unelected presidential friend to give Congress orders. I looked and looked. Really.”

House Speaker Mike Johnson, who engineered the stopgap compromise bill that would have kept the government open beyond the Friday night deadline, said he was glad that Musk had blown up the agreement because “I must have done something wrong. I’m very sorry and I swear it’ll never happen again.”

Sources close to the bone said that Musk, whom Trump has put in charge of cutting government spending, became enthusiastic about the prospect of a shutdown when he realized that it could save millions of dollars in lighting and heating costs alone. “A long shutdown could even save Social Security,” relatable sources quoted Musk as saying. “For a while, anyway.”

Meanwhile, Trump told the Fox News Channel that if a shutdown occurs, “it’s Biden’s fault.”

A spokesperson said Trump was referring to almost former President Joseph Biden, who is still believed to be residing in the White House.

Experts are at a loss to understand why the US faces a shutdown threat every year. “It’s just a given, like hurricanes or getting depressed in winter,” said Prof. Gupte. “No one is able to explain it.”