He's Bored!!!

So Bored He Could Die!!!

Ennui can strike anyone, no matter how high the position.

The President is bored. I’m not making that up. That’s not fake news. It’s real. The genuine President of the United States, Donald J. Trump, is bored with the Iran peace talks, so bored that he doesn’t care if they end successfully or not.

He said that. Out loud.

According to the New York Times, which of course is not to be trusted, but wouldn’t dare make up something this outrageous, and anyway, they got it from someone else, and it’s doubtlesss on tape somewhere, “I don’t care if they’re over, honestly,” he told Eamon Javers of CNBC when asked about reports that the Iranians, angry at continued Israeli strikes in Lebanon and low-level conflict with the United States in the Persian Gulf, were threatening to stop negotiating. “I really don’t care. I couldn’t care less. If they’re over, they’re over.”

I think it’s hard for most of us Americans to think that our President could ever be bored. I mean he’s the most important person in the world. Everybody takes his calls. Even Steven Spielberg would pick up. Maybe even Oprah.

Probably not Melania, but you can’t have everyone.

And the Iran peace talks, my God. That’s a matter of supreme importance, literally of life and death, rising or falling oil prices, our relations with the other great powers, the outcome of the midterms, the whole balance of power in the Middle East. My goodness, how could you be bored with that?

He’s bored with that.

But let’s be fair. Let’s look at it from President Trump’s point of view:

1. You’ve already ended eight wars around the globe. And it’s always the same boring dialogue. “The ceasefire? One month is too long, let’s make it 26 days.” “We’ll give up our nukes if you hand over $876 billion.” “Can our officers keep their swords?” “Who gets possession of the national gold reserves?”

2. You’ve already won the Nobel Peace Prize. OK, you didn’t exactly win it but you have it, it’s yours, it’s on your bedroom wall, not Starmer’s or Macron’s. Winning a second one wouldn’t be as big a thrill. In fact it would be boring.

3. All the endless yammering on the same points. Strait of Hormuz.. Oil prices. Nukes. Mines, missiles, merchant ships, blah blah blah. All the bickering, most of it done over lunch from the fanciest restaurants in the region instead of my delicious Big Macs. Too much sauce! I’m getting fat!

4. And then just when I think I’ll be left alone for some serious posting on Truth Social, the phone rings and it’s some tiresome Pakistani or Qatari with a new fucking proposal that he swears is gonna be the breakthrough.

5. Jeez Louise, why can’t you call Lutnick or Jared with this? Or Eamon Javers of CNBC? How the fuck did you get this number, anyway?

   So yeah, all right, I can see it. Peace proposals do get boring. The President of the United States does have better ways to spend his time. Peace palaverers, get off Trump’s back and settle your own damn war!

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