Huh?
What the heck is going on around here?
The morning after one of the best debate performances I’ve ever delivered—despite an annoying sore throat—I wake up to find everybody acting like another of my kids has been indicted.
The New York Times, good gosh, Friedman and Krugman are both saying I should bow out????? Are you kiddin’ me or what?!?! The Washington Post’s Ramesh Ponnunu—who??—somebody check the spelling on that—he says I’m PATHETIC. My goodness. Even Jill looks like she’s been crying all night, for crying out loud.
I said, “Sweetie, what is all this malarkey? I pinned that jerk’s ears back. I ripped him A new one. I showed showed him a thing for or two.”
She just looks real sad and says, “Oh, Joe.” and throws her arms around my neck.
I was God smacked, as the Brits say.
Now I love Jill more than Rice Krispies with bananas, but do you guys realize that everything Trump said last night was a lie? I mean every single thing. And I told him so right to his ugly face.
That whopper about my golf game? I mean come on, will ya? I can too hit the ball more than fifty yards. Ask Chuck Schumer if you don’t believe me.
I don’t get it.
Bow out? And leave you with…Kamala?????????????????
Get serious, folks.
Going in, my people all said to me, c’mon, man, be aggressive. Give ‘i’m hell! Don’t take any shinola from that numbskull.
Well, I stepped up. C’mon, you saw it! I hung tough.
I called out the big cluck on everything from abortion to tax cuts.
Hey, half the time he agreed with me, kept smirking and nodding his head. Did you see that? The body language is always the giveaway, the tell, as the blackjack players say. I call it the giveaway. You call it the tell. Same difference.
It was just a month ago I did State of the Union and everybody said I knocked it out of the park
What the hey?! I’m the same guy now I was then.
They say I stumbled. They say I said, “We beat Medicare.” Well, Jeez, who doesn’t misspeak now and then? Even JFK messed up occasionally.
And besides we DID beat Medicare.
You know what I mean.
Got this part right; everything Trump said last night was a lie":
I’m going to love life in Ireland! I am far too old to put up with this.