Supreme Court to Rule On Whether Trump Is a Deity or Not
Augustus and Caligula Precedents May Help Decide Case
The Supreme Court took up the issue of Donald Trump’s divinity today, which will be its last major decision before going into summer hibernation in the SCOTUS cave complex beneath the Supreme Court building.
The decision will have far-reaching consequences.
If Trump is granted divinity status (he would be the first ex-president to be so honored), he will not just be immune from all the various criminal charges against him but will be the leader of a powerful new religion with millions of devoted followers. He will also have the right to establish a major national religious holiday dedicated to his worship and to charge political opponents with blasphemy.
Legal scholars said it was absolutely certain that the court would rule 6-3 in favor of Trump’s divinity, ushering in an unprecedented era of religious dominance of U.S. politics and customs.
“You can kiss all your rights and freedoms goodbye,” said Jerome Felberton, head of the American Civil Liberties Union. “We’re in for a rerun of the Dark Ages.
But Fred the Baptist, a wandering blind prophet in New York’s Central Park, said the U.S. needed more religion. “Being blind gives me special insights that more sighted people cannot see,” said Fred. “Trump is gonna be a decent god. Not great but OK.”
Unfortunately, many of your fellow citizens, believe he is a supreme being.
Years at Yale Divinity paying off. Praise be.