Monarchists around the world celebrated today as the U.S. abandoned its two-century fling with democracy thanks to a Supreme Court decision excusing American chief executives from any accountability.
Noisy festivities broke out in such refuges for royals as London’s Buckingham Palace, where an exuberant King Charles III said, “I knew they’d come to their senses if we just waited long enough.”
His majesty then dashed off a Hallmark card of congratulations, scribbling, “Congrats! Jolly good show, Yanks!”
In Russia, President Vladimir Putin chortled, “I’m next! We’re this close.”
In Bhutan, Dragon King Jigme Khesar Namgyel Wangchuck and his wife, Dragon Queen Jetsun Pema, said they would have held a reception for the U.S. ambassador to express their joy, except there is no U.S. ambassador due to Bhutan’s isolationist foreign policy.
Gold mining shares were up on the world’s stock exchanges in anticipation of increased demand for gold for making new crowns and horse-drawn coaches.
Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump told a crowd of wildly cheering lynxes, warthogs and jackals at a rally in Death Valley, “What’s good about having a king is they can call you ‘the great,’ though in my case, it’ll be ‘the greatest.’”
Sung by all;
it's mandatory!!!
"God save us from our gracious king"
Perhaps Biden should take advantage of this newfound immunity by having the army arrest Trump for crimes against the state and have him summarily executed, all in Biden's official capacity.